You Can`t Pour from an Empty Cup - reflections from a peer supporter

Reflections from a Peer Supporter : normal role is within the Community Young Persons Speech and Language Team

I’ve taken some time to note down a few of my experiences and observations as a peer supporter over these past  months. Our covid role was essentially to look for ways to be kind to staff, to compassionately listen to them, and to signpost them to further supports if needed.  We received some training in listening and basic psychological first aid to prepare us for the role.  

High Points

• Hearing People’s Stories – I simply love listening to people’s stories and this redeployment provided a perfect excuse to spend time doing what I naturally enjoy. When you are told to simply listen to others, without agenda, it feels liberating.  I didn’t need to concern myself with bringing the conversation round to the topic of discharge procedures or intervention options, I just needed to hear them and this small act in itself could be significant.  It was affirming to build up relationships with the familiar faces who visited us in the staff rest area and see them return time after time.

The experience of being a peer supporter brought a set of skilled listeners into my life, whether it was the psychologists who worked alongside us, SLT colleagues or members of the spiritual care department.  It got me reflecting on not just my own listening skills but on how much (or little) we really prioritise hearing the patient story.

• Seeing Expressions of Love - When handing out water to staff at the front doors, I had the humbling experience of witnessing a few families coming out with their loved ones who had been discharged after recovering from Covid-19. There were plenty hugs and tears and this reminded me of the bonds of affection we all have for our family members.  I know that I, for one, have felt compelled to tell my family I love them more often.

• Having Structure – As human beings we all need structure, and we crave it even more when that sense of predictability and structure seems to be loosening at the seams. In a very simple way, the act of having to leave my home on specific days and at specific times in order to undertake a defined role in the rest centre was incredibly helpful to my sense of wellbeing. Having good reason to leave my husband at home with the children and close the door behind me at regular intervals often felt like a godsend.  

• Fun – When there wasn’t anyone in the rest centre to listen to, my colleagues and I listened to each other, and when we had exhausted all topics of conversation we looked for other sources of amusement. For some that meant exercising creative skills by producing artwork to decorate the rest centre and some made up quizzes for staff. For others it was enjoying head chef Eddie’s chicken pakora – officially the tastiest pakora to be had in Airdrie!  One of the defining characteristics for me of this pandemic has been the sheer dichotomy of experience.  It is not lost on me that one minute we may have been supporting an upset colleague, the next we were laughing about something our children had said.  However  something we’ve had emphasised to us during this crisis is that we need to be kind to ourselves and I gladly accept that time for fun and laughter has been essential to our wellbeing over the past months.

Low(er) Points

• The Emotional Rollercoaster –The phrase ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ felt a relevant concept on more than one occasion. Many of us who were redeployed had our own stories of strains and stresses that influenced our ability to be helpful to others.  We were community therapists being brought in to an acute hospital setting to be brought face-to-face with the impact of the virus and it was not an easy or simple transition.  My respect for our adult team SLT colleagues went through the roof.   

From these events I learned that it is important to assume that everyone is trying their best in the most difficult of circumstances.  Each of us carry our own story and it is helpful for our wellbeing when we accept that we are all human beings trying to get through this life the best way we know how.

• ‘Slow’ days – This phrase is a euphemism for the periods of time we spent with no staff coming to the rest centre. My psychology colleagues taught me the importance of being available and ‘present’ when they observed me running around looking for items to sanitise in an attempt to find occupation.  Their mindful practices and ‘grounding exercises’ were a helpful way to start a shift and taught me the importance of being in the right place mentally, before we give out energy to others………while saying that, some shifts were still very slow though!

I am grateful for the kind support we received from the spiritual care and wellbeing team.  We knew their door was always open should we need them.  For now, I go back to the CYP SLT team just a little bit humbler and I hope….a little bit wiser.